Never The Bride

There are times when I just can’t help but to think about him and read again his love letters. I’m not so sure if the reason behind this is because I still have feelings for him or if this is because I haven’t found a new love yet. No. We never got the chance to see each other in person but I have more than a hundred love letters from him. Yes. Family and friends told me love letters are not enough, that we need to see each other in person, and that online relationships won’t last, and that 5 hours of daily chat in YM doesn’t mean that we already know each other well. Yes. I fell deeply in love with a non-Pinoy guy … with a man whose name I never learned how to pronounced (that “umlaut” thing is really foreign to a Filipina like me). Do I have any regrets? Answer is no. I guess I’m just the sentementalist type of person. Reading his love letters over and over again reminds me that there is really nothing to regret about. I was genuinely happy during those times when we dreamed of raising a family and growing old together and all those mushy things. Makes me wonder if my future husband will get mad at me because I’m keeping all these love letters … Even if he gets mad, I don’t care. These letters made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world including all the other 8 planets of the solar system …

At my age of 25, I would say that marriage is still the last thing on my mind. Why? I don’t know why. Maybe because I haven’t found Mr. Right yet and that I still have a lot of things brewing on mind right now. Like I want to study a different language, travel all over the Philippines, start my own business, etc. But there are times when I can’t help but imagine things about proposals and weddings. I’d imagine how my future husband would look like and if he’d give me flowers, chocolates and diamonds. Diamonds? Just like what I’ve seen from Blue Nile’s website? All beautiful, glittering and sparkling forever? Wow! I’m not exactly the materialistic kind of girl but I’ve seen on movies that a perfect proposal often includes a pretty diamond ring. Makes me wonder if I’d received that too? It doesn’t really matter. What I’m really praying for is someone who is kind-hearted and basically just someone whose age is not more than 5 years older than me. And while I’m still waiting for him, I’d just enjoy my single life to the fullest

My bestfriend’s wedding day is coming soon and it’s for real! All of our friends and former classmates in high school are very happy and excited for the lovely misses. She’s the nicest and sweetest girl you can ever meet so we believe that she utterly deserves all the happiness that she is experiencing right now Contrary to what I have written in a post a few months ago, I will not be the maid of honor but the bridesmaid. Hopefully my gown gets done before the month of June ends so I can make adjustments if ever I’d gain or lose weight. Good thing there is this site that offers wedding chat for free. Here, I was able to meet some wedding friends to talk about everything related to weddings. It’s a friendly site and quite decent because they don’t accept members who are of minor age. You can also meet members from various parts of the world and best of all, membership is 100% free! No hidden fees so you can enjoy chatting to your heart’s content. Sky is the limit.

I couldn’t help but laugh at my friend’s story. He was supposed to date a very pretty girl and was on his way to the meeting place when suddenly his auto A/C compressor failed. The trouble with my friend is that he doesn’t know how to repair it himself so he had no choice but to bring his car to the auto mechanic. Knowing that he wouldn’t make it on time, he sent a text message to inform the girl that he would be a little bit late. It’s just unfortunate because he found out that he also needs a diesel fuel pump replacement. Hehe. He was almost an hour late when he arrived at the coffee shop and the girl wasn’t there anymore. It was very embarassing. My advise was to leave his vehicle in the auto shop and take a cab next time something like this happens. But I think he really loves his RAV4 coz he considers it as his “baby.” He said it’s more important than his date. How cruel!

Just yesterday, I received an e-mail from my college friend Andrea. I was really excited to hear from her after more than two years of not seeing each other. I was pretty sure she has a lot of stories to share so I immediately opened the message. To my disappointment, she was just asking if I could meet this guy who is searching for a new girlfriend. Huh?! She arranged a blind date for me! EEEEEEH! What’s with her? Has she gone nuts? She didn’t even ask if I’m still available or if I’m currently seeing someone…but of course, she isn’t forcing me. It’s just that…sigh…never mind. She said she’s just trying her luck on me. She already asked a lot of friends to do it but they all declined.

eh bakit kaya hindi na lng xa? !

You see, blind date isn’t really my cup of tea. In fact, I don’t even drink teas! I want mango juice! (haha! bobo!). Seriously, no. I don’t like blind dates. I am “allergic” to a lot of things and one of them is blind dating. You never know what you’re going to get into and it’s scary. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about date-rapes, yah know? Trouble is, I don’t know how to say ‘no’ in such a way that she won’t get offended Andrea has always been nice and sweet to me especially during college years. And if someone is nice to me, I return the favor by being doubly nice.

Just in case somebody out there is looking for a date or a blind date to be exact, please do contact me (*giggles). As if, somebody would give a damn haha!

Safety First

You need to understand that the world of online dating is so uncertain and it can be dangerous if you are bobo don’t know how to take care of yourself. There are a lot of gremlins bad people out there such as racists, scammers and sex maniacs so you better take some precautionary measures. Never give your contact details right away. I don’t know for sure when is the right time to do so, but I think it is vital to ask questions about why he/she wants to keep in touch with you. If you are unsatisfied with the answer, and don’t be stupid, answers such as “I fell in love with you in just five minutes of chatting” is unbelievable, meaning, it’s time to request for an FBI background check. Of course, it’s not cute to bombard a person with questions about his/her intentions, so you better do it in a polite manner if you don’t want to pick a fight with anyone. Yes. It’s sounds mechanical and quite unromantic, but that’s the way it goes.

Make Friends

If you already conditioned your mind that you’d only join online dating sites for the sole purpose of finding the one, chances are, you’ll get tired too soon. It would be nice to meet new friends from different sites of the world. I’ve met online girlfriends from Thailand, China and there is also one from Estonia and I find them very nice people. We talked about our experiences in online dating, and not only that, about our work, family, culture, etc.

Note: Everything I said is just based on my opinion and I’m not forcing my beliefs down anyone’s throat. Cheers!

Good Conversation

Nothing beats a person who talks with sense. A person who is not interested in anything, no matter how pretty she is, is sure to be a major turn-off so bring out the substance. Since most members are coming from faraway kingdoms countries, it helps a lot if you are able to speak an international language such as German or English. It’s going to be a huge problem if you only know how to say “guten tag” or “hello” and nothing more. But don’t worry because perfect grammar is not a requirement. As long as you can express yourself then you’ll be alright. However, there are certain topics that you need to avoid especially if you haven’t met the person in real life. For the ladies, kindly minimize money talks and if only I could, I’d also ban you from asking for financial assistance whatsoever! And for the men who only want to talk about sex, please do me a favor and go to h***!

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend online dating to my friends. It’s too unrealistic it’ll drive you nuts. It’s like a fantasy world that would make you believe prince charming is just there searching for you, but in actuality, you need to compete with a lot of witches and evil step sisters before you can live happily ever after with him. However, to all those stubborn Cinderellas out there who still want to give it a try, I have a few pointers to share.

Good Profile First, you will need a decent profile if you are dead serious about finding the one through online dating. Sure, you want to draw attention, but uploading a fake photo and lying about your age or gender or marital status are a big NO-NO. It’s not worth it unless your intention is to find a D.O.M. [tsk tsk tsk]. Just be yourself but keep also in mind that you don’t have to reveal everything in your profile. Here’s the silly thing, I noticed that most members don’t really read profiles. I’m guessing, they only look at the photo and if they like it, they’ll send you a flirt/interest note/message. So upload your most presentable picture and keep your introduction short. Tell them about where you came from, your job, hobbies, but I strongly suggest that you only share intimate details to those who rightfully deserve it. I’m referring to those frogs princes who sincerely want to know you better (ex. how many kids you want). Some princesses think that being too open can lead to a “happy ending story” so they share every single detail of their life from their first day in kindergarten up to how they ended up working as an office clerk. Read: It is usually a turn off. In addition to that, headers such as “ready to settle down as soon as I find him” is not advisable simple because it sounds needy.

I went out with my high school buddy, Mary, and guess what? She’s the happiest woman in the whole wide world! The exact date is already confirmed and she finally got her Papa’s elusive “YES” She and her boyfriend of four years are about to tie the knots this August 2009 and she wants me to be her maid of honor Yehey! I am very happy for her and I am sooo excited for myself. I’ve attended two church weddings before but this is the first time that I’m going to be a maid of honor. Wow!

What makes me more excited is that she’s also asking if I could assist her in the wedding preparations. As if I know a lot about weddings hehe! But “sure, sure, sure!” I wanna help in choosing the perfect bridal gown Mary also wants me to add some weight. Have I mentioned before that I’m skinny? Oh yes, I am. The bride-to-be wants me to wear something sexy on her special day. Wahahaha! Joke.

More than anything else, I am very flattered that Mary didn’t forget me. I know for sure, she already met a lot of new friends after high school. But the mere fact that she still considers me as one of her most treasured friends means a lot to me, sob! hihihihi! Isn’t that amazing? And by the way, is maid of honor english for abay? ‘Cuz I’m not quite sure lol! 

In many western countries where people are sexually liberated, virginity is just a nine-letter word and is absolutely not a requirement for a successful marriage. However, for most Filipinas who grew up in a judgemental society that dictates women to stay “pure” while men are permitted to be sexually active (double standard eh), it is the greatest gift a wife can give her husband. More so, girls who experienced sex before tying the knot are thought to get less chances of having a happy married life, or worse, they get labeled as flirt, whore, or bitch I know a friend who was so scared to tell her new boyfriend that she’s not a virgin anymore simply because she thought he’d stop loving her the moment he finds out about the truth. In my point of view, I think it is totally unfair to discriminate a woman based on what is in between her legs. As long as she fearlessly stands by her choice, whether to keep her purity until her wedding night or to practice her sexual freedom, men should not make an issue out of it.